Followers

Friday, January 30, 2009

Warning Christian, I don't intend to offend you...

Dear Christian:

Please allow me to sit in this pain. It seems to fill my life.
Please don’t negate what I feel by telling me God’s in control. I know He is, but still I hurt…deeply.

Please don’t smile in my face and throw scriptures at me. I know those verses backwards and forwards, yet my heart aches each and every moment. Those verses don’t take the sting away.

Please don’t avoid me just because I might start weeping. Please look in my eyes though you’ll see my sorrow.

If I hear one more time how good God is, I think I’ll scream. I do see His goodness but still my soul is sore with grief and loss.

Don’t tell me how I should feel. I know you mean well, but I am raw and tender.

This voyage has been excruciatingly long. The hole is deep. I see light though dimly.
Joy appears sporadically lacking solidness. The piercing agony is constant.

God does give me strength each day, but don’t tell me He won’t give me more than I can bear. I can’t bear anything.

Please don’t tell me how it’s all for God’s glory, because I just don’t see it. Maybe one day I will. Maybe I never will.

As a Christian, I know I have a “hope and a future” that’s why I long for heaven, yet the ache is real and present now. The weariness never-ending.

Please meet me where I am. You can’t fix it, so don’t try. Just be with me.

Allow me the grace to journey through the pain…

3 comments:

Crazy Three B's said...

I will just love you and let you scream, cry or whatever you want!!!!!!!!!

Conservative Kelly said...

You finally said it. Good for you Mom.

I Love you and I'm proud of you. (Ignore my user name-its for a school project)

Stephanie said...

sometimes life just sucks. and sometimes, you just have to say it REALLY loud! i appreciate your "yelling"! it was not offensive at all! it was honest, to the point. beautiful.

i hope writing those words was therapeutic for you! :) thinking about you and hoping for better days ahead!

xo