Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Happy New Year...

I bring no resolutions, no goals, no plans into this year marked 2008. With a heavy heart, I welcomed the turning of time after only just having learned of the death of yet another pediatric cancer child. Her death was not expected nor looked for by me. I was surprised and saddened. She was but eight years old.

Recently I gave my testimony. It was arduous for me as I prepared my words to share. I felt I had literally wrestled with God for five months as I grappled with what I was to share. I had much to process, tough questions to ask and answers to come to grips with, and I longed for calm. I finally came to a point of revelation, peace and understanding.

On the day of my sharing with a small group of dear women, I felt a freedom I never have felt before. I realized I could trust God with my son, my daughters, my husband and with my life. After all, whom else could I trust? Logically, there is no one else nor anything else to trust. I know my own fickleness. I know man’s faults with his lack of full knowledge and wisdom. I know medical science’s barbarous ways. How comforting to know I have One whom I can trust. This One has created every molecule of my son’s body and directed the making of our unfathomable universe. Why would I not trust Him?

What will 2008 have for me? What will this year bring my children…my husband…my country…my planet? I do not know, therefore, I bring no resolutions or goals or plans. I only walk into this New Year with my eyes wide open and my heart full of love. I walk into this New Year with a contented joy and gratitude. I walk into this New Year with no guarantees of a “happily ever after” at least not here on this earth. I do not step into 2008 with fear and trepidation, but rather with the assuredness of there being pain and sorrow, but also untold joys and laughter. I read in the Bible man plans his future, but God directs his steps.

And so I am being led into this New Year 2008…

No comments: