Wednesday, April 23, 2008

My moon angel...

Sadness engulfed me that morning, as it sometimes does. Still grieving the loss of innocence, hearing news of new suffering, it’ll sometimes settle on me for the day. Less frequent now, it does show up unexpectedly, but I know it’ll pass. Tears remain just under the surface threatening to take over. Sometimes I allow them to, sometimes I hold them back. I’ve become an expert at holding them back. On those days, bone weary fatigue takes over and my mind does not focus. Somehow I muddle through the day, feeling in a fog.

On this day, I sat in front of my doctor describing these symptoms. Anti-depressants, counseling and menopause were woven into the conversation. I know the sadness leaves me, so I don’t want a pill. I’ll look into counseling again. And menopause, well it’s a part of a woman’s life. There is no escaping these sad days. I’ve learned to embrace them until they are used up.

I slipped into bed that night, still sad, still teary, but hanging onto hope of a fresh tomorrow. My bed is set in the back corner of my room just under two large windows. As I snuggled under my covers, I looked up and out the window into a windy sky. And there it was, my moon angel. I blinked not sure of what I was seeing. Somehow the night sky with its clouds just beneath the bright moon created a clear, distinct shape of an angel. The face was the moon, illuminated and whole, the wings feathered and airy spread out on each side. The body hung down like a heavy robe. It was an angel, a moon angel. I looked again and that fast it was changing, moving on the winds of darkness and it was gone.

Angels are sent by God to protect, comfort and herald messages to His people. They are big, strong, powerful beings, neither male nor female. I am grateful for the reminder of God’s ever present presence in my life.

My moon angel…

1 comment:

Shana said...

Praise God for the Moon Angel!!! Keep your head up and look toward the One who will guide and protect you.
It was good to run into you at church several weeks ago! Love to check in on your family and read your thoughts.
Blessings to you,
Shana Dorn-Jabusch