Almost 49 and holding...

I’m a December baby and 49 is fast approaching. I don’t mind birthdays, but I do mind aging. With age comes wisdom, but why can’t we get older and not have our bodies malfunction?

For example, I’ve always had 20/20 vision. “Eagle Eye” my family affectionately called me as I was often the first to see the deer in the forest or the hawk soaring through the sky. What’s happened? The print on those vitamins bottles are suddenly impossible to read! I find myself holding my book at arm’s length while my eyes take their time focusing.

I put off buying reading glasses for as long as I could, but one day I realized I wasn’t reading anything! So I broke down and bought a pair. I consoled myself with the knowledge they were the lowest magnification possible. The first time I wore them in front of my children, my youngest daughter cried in her most dramatic voice, “Oh, mommy! You look so old!” Gee thanks honey. I guess I failed at picking out the most “hip” looking pair.

One day I lost them while going through the security in an airport. I’ve attempted to replace them a couple of times, but the cost is ridiculous. I refuse to pay $20-$25 just to look OLD! So one of these days I’ll break down and head over to The Dollar Tree and buy a pair for a buck. In the mean time I ask my kids to read those tiny labels on food boxes or coupons for me. Hopefully, the trauma of mommy looking old has passed.

Then there’s my knee. When did it start hurting? I kept thinking it’d go away as I was hiking regularly. I iced it, I babied it, stretched it and I rested it. But it never got better. It just plain hurt EVERYTIME I hiked. So I broke down and bought a knee support at Walgreens. I tried it out today and it was a success. Thankfully it is winter and I can hide it under my long pants that way no one can see my weakness. My kids don’t know about the knee brace yet. I hope they can handle it when they find out.

I trust my good knee holds out longer. Then there are those other aches and pains: my hips and my lower back. Maybe my hips hurt because I carried five babies! Maybe my lower back hurts because my tummy is too flabby from having all those babies. Should I tell my children it’s all their fault? Either way, I feel like it’s a losing battle. Gravity and time certainly take a toll on these earthly soul houses.

Finally, my 9 year old son added the biggest insult to injury as he climbed into my lap just the other day. I was focused on my writing as I happily typed away at my laptop. It took a while before it dawned on me what was going on; he was gently and affectionately playing with the loose skin under my chin…my waddle! Until that very moment, I didn’t even KNOW I had a waddle!

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” I cried as I pulled away in shock. “Are you playing with my waddle?!” And he mischievously and lovingly smiled up at me and said, “Yes, mommy. I like it. It’s soft and squishy.” I felt my sense of beauty ebb away. Oh vanity, vanity. All is vanity.

Almost 49 and trying to stay there…